A Clone and Nine People have the talk
by Blue Eyes Angel 2
Summary: Superman has decided that it's time to give Superboy. He didn't realize that others beat him to it. This story can also be connected to my other story "Super Mistake", if you like.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice. Young Justice is the property of the DC Universe and created by Brandon Vietti and Greg Weisman. This story is purely for fun.**

 **Review and Enjoy!**

 **Thank you!**

 **Blue Eyes Angel 2!**

 **A Clone and Nine People have the talk.**

It was a beautiful day outside to be flying around Metropolis. But Superman instead was flying to Mount Justice to a teenage clone. It had been a few months since the whole Justice League being under Vandal Savage's control, and Clark felt like it was time to have a chat with Conner that he had been holding off long enough.

He knows that his little brother had been dating Miss Martian for about a year now, and he knows that their relationship was progressing fast. So, he figured now was the time to step in and talk to Conner.

When Superman entered the cave, he was greeted by Robin.

"Hey Uncle Supes, what brings you here," called the Boy Wonder.

The whole team stopped fighting and stopped to glance over at him. It was strange; before he accepted Superboy, all he got from the group were anger glares now they were warm smiles and looks of respect. Conner was the first to walk up to him with the others following.

"Hey, what are you doing here? I thought we agreed to meet later at Metropolis," asked the clone confused.

 _"Crap, I didn't think this though, how the hell am I going to tell him this, I don't even know where to start!"_ Superman thought.

"I thought we could talk," he said.

 _"There that should do it."_

"Sure, what's up?" asked Superboy.

Superman looked shocked.

 _"He wants to have the conversation here!"_

"Actually, maybe we can talk more in private," he suggested.

"You know you can tell me anything in front of my friends, it's okay," reinsured Superboy.

The rest of the team looked at him confused, Superman felt like his face was going red, and he hasn't even started the talk yet.

"Superman, are you okay?" questioned Superboy.

 _"I'm Superman, I can do this!"_

"Conner, I have come here because I think it's time, I give you 'the talk,'" he blurred out.

Next thing he knew, Robin, Kid Flash, Artemis, Zannata and Rockett were on the ground rolling in laughter. Miss Martian's whole face went red, Aqualad looked amused but was trying to hide it.

Poor Superboy looked like a fish out of the water.

"You what!" exclaimed the teen.

Superman stepped back a little. "I come to give you the sex talk."

"Shut up, I hear you the first time!" yelled the Teen of Steel covering his ears.

Robin got off the ground from laughing. "You asked Supey."

Superboy turned around and looked Superman straight in the eye.

"Superman, thank you, but I really don't need to hear it."

 _"He's embarrassed; he's trying to get out of it. Don't let him! Be the big brother!"_

"Conner, I know this is an uncomfortable conversation to have, but I think-"

"No, you don't understand, I don't need the talk, because I already had nine people give it to me," explained Superboy.

"Oh, then in that case-wait! Nine people! What do you mean nine people gave you the talk!?" shouted Superman.

The team now was screaming with laughter as Superboy looked like he wanted to dig a hole seven feet under the Earth and die.

"Who," asked Superman.

"Who, what?" asked Superboy.

"Who gave you the talk? Tell me," demanded Superman. A feeling of protectiveness washed over him. What if someone told his little brother all the wrong things, and now Conner has a misunderstanding of sex!

Superboy looked flabbergasted. "I'm not telling you!"

"Conner Kent, you tell me right now! What if it was someone who misinformed you! I need to know! Tell me everything these people told you."

"No, you pervert! I'm not telling you anything!" shouted Superboy, storming away.

The team only watched as Superman and Superboy went around what looked like a game of cat and mouse.

"Conner!"

"No!"

"Conner please! Get back here right now!"

"No! Don't touch me! Get away from me!"

"Batman."

Superman and Superboy halted, the older Krpytioan had a grip on the collar of the younger one's black t-shirt. Superboy' s foot was also in the air like he was ready to kick Superboy. They both looked to Robin.

"What?"

"Batman was one of the people who gave SB the talk," informed Robin.

"Whose side are you on?" shouted Superboy, face going red.

"The side that can't help but find this ridiculously funny," answered Robin.

Superman let go of Superboy. "You let Batman give you the talk."

" _Bruce is a billionaire playboy! Before Dick came into the picture he would sleep with thousands of women! Sweet Jesus, what did he tell Conner!?"_

"It's not what you think, he was just there," explained Superboy. "He locked me in the room with him and basically just growled and glared at me during the whole talk. Told me not to ever have sex. Grumbling how there was enough Krpytioans on Earth."

The team laughed at that.

"I think a kryptonite chastity belt was mention," said Robin.

"What!" shouted Superman.

" _Oh, sweet mother of god!"_

"There was not!" Superboy turned to Robin. "Stop making things up!"

"My favorite was Wonder Woman," chuckled Artemis.

Superman choked on his own air. "W-Wonder Woman!"

" _Diana is an amazon warrior, who grew up on an island of only woman! Oh no, what if she told Conner something like woman should take the lead in bed, or that if he was disrespectfully to a woman, she caught off his balls! No!"_

Zatanna giggled. "He tried to run from her, but she only caught him with her lasso and hogtied."

"And didn't let me go until she was done speaking," added Superboy with a deadpanned to his voice.

Miss Martian came to Superboy' s side. "At least Black Canary was nice about it, my uncle J'ohn however, could have made it less awkward."

"Or scaring," said Superboy.

Superman stepped closer to Superboy. "What did he do?" Part of him was dreading the answer.

Superboy' s face went red, and he looked away. "Nothing."

"Images."

"M'gann!"

"Images!" shouted Superman.

"He thought it would help Conner if he saw actual images," explained Miss Martian. "So, he did it mentally."

Superman was worried of a heart attack if he was told one more story.

" _Please, let the rest be normal."_

Superboy didn't look much better by the color of his face. "Can we please stop talking about this," he begged.

"I thought we did a pretty good job," said Kid Flash gesturing to himself, Robin and Aqualad.

Superman pointed to them. "You mean, all three of you."

" _Oh no."_

"Please, stop sharing," begged Superboy.

"I wanted to show a porn movie to Supey, but Kaldur and Rob were against me," admitted Kid Flash.

"Wally!"

"Ew, you pervert!"

"What, it's the best way to learn!"

Superman might have a heart attack, right here on the floor. While a bunch of teenagers fills him in the sex-education of his little brother.

"Don't forget Red Tornado," mention Aqualad with a look of disappointment on his face.

Superboy turned to his leader so fast that Superman almost thought the boy had gotten his super speed. "Kaldur, don't you dare tell him!"

Superman felt himself relax slightly. Although Red Tornado was a robot, he figured it was safe to assume that nothing went terrible with that talk.

"He actually showed the porn video."

" _Or not."_

Superman clutched his chest. He couldn't speak despite his jaw-dropping around person number four.

"The only one I don't know what happened is the one with Luthor," said Robin.

 _THUMP_

"Clark!"

"Oh, man, I think we broke Superman," chuckled Kid Flash.

Superboy groaned. "Great, just great."

"So, how do you think he's going to react when he finds out that you already had sex?"

"Shut up Robin."

 **End**


End file.
